Exotic Eastern European beauty, Linda Allen, flies in to Los Angeles to track down the evil mobsters who tortured and murdered her sister. Meanwhile, the mobsters are trying to find a tape with information that would be incriminating to them. Linda's investigation deals with a pimp who may be the murderer she is after, and a helpful FBI agent who may not be the crime hunter he pretends to be. Cunning and deadly she is, but will she be up to the tangled web of corruption, violence, and death she falls into? Really, really, really, really, really funny movie but man is it badly made. On the other hand its hard to make any movie good or bad so just the fact that anything gets onscreen is a downright miracle really…but seriously its not well made. <br/><br/>The lead actress is very Tommy Wisseau-esque tho–her accent, but also her outsize over-reaction to anything and everything that's also in the scene with her. She's a wee bit over the top you might say. <br/><br/>There's a grown woman playing a 5 year old girl here as well, as in she's actually supposed to be 5 and not a grown woman with the brain of a 5 year old…it doesn't make any sense, but i'm hoping it wasn't supposed to.<br/><br/>There's a sequence that's set at a party that turns into a drug laced freakout/orgy that seems to serve no purpose other than to give the people in the movie who aren't the main actress something to do. <br/><br/>Honestly nothing that happens in this movie makes any sense–it starts out trying to be a straight up revenge movie (this woman's sister gets killed and she comes to California to find the guys that did it) but somewhere around the lets say 20 minute mark, the movie turns into a woman on the run movie, and then it inexplicably becomes a love story–that part was actually the most believable because the actor who's playing against the lead actress is about as much an actor as she is–except where she goes completely and totally over the top, he's like underplaying every line–their love scene needs to be seen to be believed quite honestly. <br/><br/>How this hasn't been rediscovered as an object of cult fandom yet is a good question–its definitely every bit as nuts as The Room, but somehow The Room is still unquestionably the better movie! (At least The Room has some resolution at the end of its plot!) Cunning and deadly foreign beauty Linda Allen (a hilariously atrocious performance by Rene Harmon, who sports an adorable heavy German accent) arrives in Los Angeles to track down the evil mobsters who tortured and murdered her sister. Meanwhile, the mobsters try to find a tape with incriminating information on it. Plus Linda has to deal with both a nasty pimp and a crooked FBI agent who intends on killing her. Boy, does this deliciously dreadful doozy possess all the right wrong stuff to qualify as a real four star stinkeroonie: exceptionally inept (mis)direction by James Bryan (the same cinematic genius who blessed us with the similarly shoddy "Don't Go in the Woods" and "The Executioner, Part II"), uniformly terrible acting from a lame no-name cast, clumsily staged action scenes (the car chases, shoot outs, and especially the rough'n'tumble martial arts fights are all uproariously awful), a hopelessly muddled and meandering narrative, a simply astounding kinky swinging sex party (Rene suggestively sucks on celery stalks with a certain remarkably sensuous aplomb), poorly recorded post-sync dialogue, and a handy helping of gratuitous female nudity that's largely provided by dumpy and unattractive ladies with a few too many miles (and pounds) on them. The legendary Liz Renay, looking aged, pasty and chubby, pops up in all her sexy and uninhibited fortysomethingish splendor as a stripper who bumps and grinds for all its worth in a seedy nightclub. Max Reed's shaky'n'scratchy cinematography gives this tacky flick an appropriately ratty look. An absolute cruddy hoot.
Alisamau replied
370 weeks ago